Nietzsche

"In large states public education will always be mediocre, for that same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad"

Irony Chef Match

Ok folks here you go, you asked for so you got it and the best part of this story is that this is all true 100%. So I guess it’s my own fault for assuming it would be an ACF sanctioned competition and hindsight being forethought I will never make that mistake again. I had never been thrown into that sort of Rambo style cooking and nor would I ever describe it as anything less than a mad hatter style cooking contest. The highs and lows were marred with situations that I had never experienced and if someone would have just taking one second to whisper in my ear “Listen this is more like an Iron chef match” I would have stopped dead center and changed everything I had done. Now the biggest thing I had to do to up the wow factor with my dish is ditch the greens that held the caponata and create a vessel that would highligt the dish and show a skill set. YOU SAY NO PROBLEM, Yea right you can’t even comprehend all the work that went into my Sous chef’s (aka my wife) beautiful basil window cup to lift the Caponata off the grouper per suggestion of an ACF judge. This little change took so much time and was so unneeded I could have cried but I was promised it would make all the difference in the world and since there was an ACF judge at the table of death he would understand my pearls before swine ; Alas not, though to make it even mo better bittersweet "Irony" the things that cost me points in S.C. were the things that won in N.O......Irony thy name could only be mine. Ergo let the beatings begin...

Never ever place hot food with cold salad "rookie mistake" I can here the judges saying to me as they announced the winner, not to mention it was a salad in an entree competition????The best part possible was the name Southern Niçoise Salad, still pulling the daggers out of my back when I look at a Classical French salad that doesn’t have the one component that makes it a classical french salad the “NICOISE OLIVES”. Now OK, I’ll give the devil his due. Some of you good people may think that I may be a little nitpicking but the story only gets better from here with some things that all you non chefs may be able to understand better
If you scroll down you will find Cody or rather Chef Cody, who left in the middle of his cooking time to get his wife along with himself a cold beer from a vendor in the convention hall and came back swiggin it like a boss,at that point my jaw dropped. I had no time to marvel in the Kahunas that this chef was rocking right now because team Oregon a.k.a Macklemore and son had decided to smoke some hay and I know what you’re thinking; so 2012 but no they upped the ante by not using a smoker and just threw the hay in a pan and set it on fire and when the tuna was finished smoking the brain trust from Oregon decided to smoke my table skirt in the same fashion thereby sending it up in flames like the streets of Rome. Thank God for my last hope the great state of North Carolina came to the rescue faster than a bat out of hell with quarts of corn water to douse the hay ridden polyester flaming skirt that once belonged to Alsco linens. At this point even the camera moved away from my face as you could see the anger of a thousand disgruntled chef’s in my face steadily cooking while my table was picked up on both sides and moved to extinguish the remaining fire and then placed back. Go ahead you can say it, it’s kinda funny now and I even laugh about it, the first time I ever did the cha cha on live TV and it was while I made risotto. Eat that dancing with the stars; All of that was within the first twenty minutes so as the hour wore on we recovered how I never know and somehow we finished within our time slot with a very good dish...I was very proud of
Which brings us to this, Ladies and Gentlemen step right up for a gander to the eighth wonder of the world and living proof that marijuana is legal in Colorado.; Their entry to the cookoff’s unofficial title: Weird salmon French fry with flowered fence and green ketchup

Sorry folks but I had to throw this one in if just for comedy relief, truly the most insane thing I have ever seen created with food, right up there with Top Chef’s Frank season 2 episode 3 "mushroom wonderland." To this day I still have screaming nightmares about both...